Ketubah

In Jewish culture, the term Ketubah refers to a written document that holds significant importance in the context of marriage. It is a legal contract based on the laws outlined in the holy book, serving as a binding agreement between a Jewish man and woman who seek to embark on a shared life together. This union is contingent upon accepting responsibilities entrusted to each party, which are mutually agreed upon and documented in the Ketubah for proper record-keeping and registration. Ketubah can be seen as a spiritual symbol with roots in ancient times, preserving its fundamental essence over centuries. As a result, it holds a distinct position among other documents within the Jewish community.

While the exact origins and early instances of the Ketubah remain uncertain, historical evidence suggests that other societies had already developed written documents for commercial transactions and various agreements centuries before the establishment of the Ketubah.

It is worth noting that such documents extended beyond mere trade of goods, properties, agricultural products, and cattle. Historical records indicate that the practice of buying and selling human beings as slaves was widespread among many nations, and they were formalized by registering the buyer’s name, the slave’s details, and their value in a document, which determined the owner’s legal rights within the legislated framework of that era.

Over time, some slave traders incorporated conditions in the documents during the purchase or sale process. These conditions aimed to safeguard the rights and liberties of slaves and the condition under which they would be emancipated. To acknowledge ownership, a separate marriage document was devised when slaves married, detailing the specifications of the spouse and, in certain cases, expressing the woman’s value in terms of gold. Subsequently, this value became synonymous with dowries in marital agreements.

Now to Jewish history. Although the Jews followed the same path as other societies more or less, Jewish scholars paid particular attention to documentation, especially after the arrival of Prophet Moses and during the prosperity of Beit Hamikdash (i.e. The Temple in Jerusalem) over three thousand years ago. Before any other society, Jewish scholars formulated short texts in the form of Ketubahs for the Jewish community. These texts were developed in alignment with Jewish beliefs, aiming to promote human advancement and respect, and preserve a Kosher — pure and authentic — life based on Jewish divine laws. Numerous narratives concerning this topic can be found in Jewish religious texts, primarily in the Bible..

We read in the book of Genesis that the 140-year-old Abraham sought a suitable and worthy spouse for his son Isaac to ensure the continuity of his lineage. To fulfill this goal, Abraham asked his loyal servant Eliezer to take a solemn oath, and journey to Abraham’s birthplace to bring back a wife for Isaac to Canaan, where Abraham and Isaac lived. The servant embarked on a voyage from Hebron to the city of Nahor, the residence of Abraham’s brother and his family, bearing valuable gifts that were carried on ten camels for the prospective bride and her family. Rebekah’s family were first uncertain about the marriage. Eventually, they agreed after upholding the traditional practice of negotiation during the engagement ceremony. They granted permission for Rebekah to accompany Eliezer to Hebron, where Isaac resided, and Eliezer presented the gifts that Abraham had sent for Rebekah and her family. This was made possible after finalizing the agreement. Thus, Rebekah joined Eliezer and his family on their journey back to Hebron.

Staying with the book of Genesis, the story of Vayetze narrates Jacob’s desire to marry Laban’s daughters, proposing seven years of labor in exchange for Rachel’s hand. However, after completing the stipulated seven years as a shepherd in Laban’s service, Jacob found himself wedded to Leah, Laban’s eldest daughter. In light of Jacob’s profound objections and disappointment on the next morning, Laban agreed to let Jacob marry Rachel on the following week on the condition that he would serve an additional unpaid seven years. Rachel possessed extraordinary beauty and grace.

Conditions of Ketubah:

According to available evidence, Jewish marriage traditions are embedded in long history. According to Halakha, the consent of both parties is considered a fundamental requirement in this matter. In the past, the minimum age for marriage was around eighteen for men and fifteen for women, and any form of use of force for marriage is prohibited according to Jewish law.

Marriage is not solely based on wealth and beauty. Jewish scholars believe that adhering to these rules promotes the longevity of marital life and imbues it with enduring sanctity. This commitment fosters personal growth for the couple, as, according to Jewish culture, a person is not complete without having a spouse. Additionally, the Hebrew word for marriage means human growth and fulfillment. Based on this, marriage in Judaism is considered a significant religious duty.

From the Talmudic perspective, marriage holds a special status and is commonly referred to as Kiddushin, meaning sanctification. This term implies that both husband and wife must meticulously observe the principles of chastity in their married life. It is also mentioned in the Talmud that if both spouses are righteous, the divine presence (Shekhinah) will manifest among them. However, if they are not righteous, hypocrisy and enmity will lead them towards destruction.

The foundation of the above discourse lies in the combination of the Hebrew words Ish (man) and Isha (woman) with the words Y-A-H (God) and Esh (fire), resulting in the union of Yah and Esh, representing the divine and fiery aspects.

It is widely believed that not only is the marriage contract between a boy and a girl sealed in heaven, but it is predetermined who each person’s spouse will be. The Kabbalah beleive that a woman’s right to choose her spouse is granted to her before she is even born. Therefore, by selecting a spouse, a woman accepts the responsibility of elevating that man to a higher level of excellence and growth.

The Talmud explicitly emphasizes respect for women’s rights. Therefore, during the era of composing Ketubah texts, scholars and religious leaders took great care to make it difficult for a husband to divorce his wife and strived to preserve women’s rights as much as possible.

Although the practical use of Ketubah may be limited in some countries nowadays — it is the courts that make the decisions now — religious individuals consider themselves obligated to fulfill the commitments recorded in Ketubah.

History of Ketubah (Marriage Contract):

Although the origin of the first Ketubah in terms of city and era remains unclear, it is evident that the tradition of utilizing Ketubah expanded following the destruction of Beit Hamikdash and the imprisonment of Jews by the Babylonian Exilarch. Over a span of five hundred years — after the formation of the Mishnah, the Gemara, and the compilation of the Talmud — Jewish scholars formally devised and presented Ketubah as a legal document. Its usage extended to marriages among Jews scattered around the world. Ketubah serves as a covenant and a marker of identity for every Jewish man and woman. It has functioned as an identification document for centuries and distinguished Jewish individuals from non-Jews.

The laws outlined in Ketubah are undoubtedly derived from the laws that were established by Jewish scholars in the Sanhedrin (Supreme Assembly) over 3,000 years ago. Later, after the destruction of Beit Hamikdash and the exile of the Children of Israel to Babylon, Ketubah assumed a more formal aspect as it became a symbol of Jewish identity. In other words, marriage within the framework of Ketubah preserved historical and cultural authenticity in Judaism and prevented the assimilation of the Jewish people among other nations, especially during the period of dispersion (Galut).

The commitments specified in Ketubah:

The commitments specified in Ketubah require the husband to provide his wife with all the means of a comfortable life — including clothing, food, and conjugal rights — and not to neglect his responsibilities in this shared life, as religion and society see fit. Additionally, in the event of death or divorce, the husband must uphold the rights of his wife (alimony) and their children (inheritance of the wife’s share of the husband’s property and commitment to support the children born from this marriage). It is customary for the texts (laws) written in Ketubah to be read in the presence of ten adult men for the groom. Then, two just individuals without any familial relation to the bride or groom (they should not have any relation to each other either) sign the Ketubah as witnesses.

The texts included in all Ketubahs are almost identical, with the possibility that certain local customs and practices being added. However, the essence of the matter remains largely the same. It is customary for a pre-marriage agreement to be written between the families of the bride and groom, referred to as Tenaim or conditions. Among Iranian Jews, these Tenaim are known as Shatar. In the past, the engagement period (Erusin) sometimes lasted for a year, during which the bride’s family was occupied with preparing the necessary items for the dowry of the future couple.

It has been customary to conduct the Ketubah ceremony in conjunction with religious obligations, although each Jewish community may perform this special ceremony with different details. Although the engagement period may take as long as a year, the couple still do have some duties toward each other. Furthermore, this period has become shorter, but the wedding ceremony is held in a more elaborate and splendid manner, with a larger number of invited guests..

The Ketubah engagement ceremony:

The ceremony is held under a huppah (i.e. engagement canopy) through a designated clergyman (rabbi or hacham). The huppah represents a Jewish home and symbolizes true and pure love. It consists of four wooden columns and a white piece of fabric acting like a sunshade over their head, which signifies good fortune. Typically, the sunshade is a tallit (prayer shawl). The four corners of the canopy are hung on four columns, and the Ketubah ceremony takes place beneath it. It is customary for the huppah to be set up outdoors under the open sky at sunset or in a synagogue.

First, the groom is brought under the huppah, followed by the bride standing beside him. The bride and groom are guided under the huppah by their parents or two relatives. There must be at least ten men present in this ceremony. While holding a cup of wine, the rabbi or hacham recites a special marriage blessing, after which the bride and groom drink from the cup. Then, the groom places the wedding ring on the bride’s finger (usually on the index finger), and the engagement prayer is recited.

הֲרֵי אַתּ מְקֻדֶּשֶׁת לִי, כְּדָת מֹשֶׁה וְיִשׂרָאֵל

With this ring, you are engaged to me according to the law of Moses and Israel.
One of the traditions that is always performed under the huppah is the breaking of glass under the groom’s foot, symbolizing the destruction of the Beit Hamikdash (Holy Temple). This act signifies that the groom does not forget the destruction of the Holy Temple even in the happiest moments of his life. Afterward, the rabbi reads the Ketubah text, which includes the groom’s commitments to the bride. The groom entrusts the Ketubah to the bride before the ceremony.

Among Sephardic Jews, it is customary for the bride and groom to be embraced under a tallit (prayer shawl) and cover themselves with it, symbolizing unity under one roof (the huppah).

The Talmud emphasizes that after becoming one, the husband is obliged to respect his wife more than the respect he expects for himself. The wife should also treat her husband, who is the head of the family, with utmost respect and consider herself to belong to him permanently. She must observe the laws of family purity and other religious measures. Having a Ketubah was so important that if a woman lost her Ketubah and did not find it within a few hours, the husband was required to obtain a new one for her before sunset.

Halakha (religious laws) on Ketubah:

1. The husband’s commitments to the wife and the wife’s status in the event of divorce or the husband’s death should be determined.
2. It is mentioned in the Mishnah that a person can sell a Torah scroll and use the proceeds to cover the expenses of a young couple’s wedding.
3. Ketubah and wedding ceremonies are not performed on Shabbat, Ta’anit (fast days), holidays, and days between the seventeenth of Tammuz (especially from the beginning of Av) to the ninth of Av, as well as during the days of Omer (from the day of Pesach to the thirty-fourth day of the Omer).
4. On the day of the wedding, after observing a period of seven days of purity, the bride immerses herself in a mikvah, a ritual bath, symbolizing her dedication to the principles of family purity that she will uphold in her new life that is her new responsibility.
5. It is said that the wedding day is a day of forgiveness and pardon for the bride and groom. Therefore, the bride and groom fast (ta’anit) on the wedding day or a day before.
6. After performing the Ketubah ceremony, the Hamotzi prayer (i.e. blessing over bread) should be recited before eating. Then, after the meal, the Birkat Hamazon (i.e. the Full Grace) should be recited, followed by the Sheva Brachot (i.e. the Seven Blessings), and finally, Birkat Hamazon (i.e. the Full Grace) is repeated.
7. In Judaism, the Ketubah ceremony is a sacred ceremony of gratitude, accompanied by joy and happiness.
8. During the Ketubah ceremony, Sheva Brachot (i.e. the Seven Blessings) is recited for the bride and groom.

Sources:
Beliefs and Myths: Yusef Setareshenas